There's so many things I want to filter out hence the closure of my previous blog. Didn't delete it but I just private it and only show certain stuff I want to show here. I realise I have forgotten about many things that I have written or done in the past and it's just nice reading back for my own pleasure.
It's been so long since I've written anything but I just couldn't go to sleep without getting certain things off my chest. Whether it's directly or indirectly addressing it, I just have to get it out.
There were some primary characters in my life whom advices to me were always about how attitude plays a big part in this world. Now I get it. There's no perfect answer but it's the way you answer to a question that matters. Just like how two separate individuals may have the same answers, but we may favour one over the other because of the way they give their answers. Through the tone they use to answer, you can see through how responsible and how sincere they are.
Not only being able to answer to questions, but also about the ability to being sensitive to your surroundings. You don't just see someone wanting just some quiet time alone to cool down and then start giving your so-called advices about how you should face the problem and not be too emotional when they have never addressed any problem to you directly. Perhaps it's like trying to cool down a hot soup, you can't just cool down a hot soup by pouring ice into it? Don't make matter worst than it already is. You can just have your soup if you be patient and wait a little while more till it reaches room temperature rather than ruining the soup and not being able to drink it anymore. Not sure if this is a good example but if you got the gist of it then good for you.
It's tiring having to explain to why you do certain things in a certain way all the time. Perhaps that's why we all learn best through experiences. But the worst type of people, is not opening your mind and give the world a chance to feed you with it's life lessons.
Blaming
Have you ever met some people who will just blame people around them for everything that's gone wrong? or being in an environment that stops them from learning more? There's no place that stops you from growing, from learning. The only thing that stops a person from growing is he/she himself/herself.
There are some people that keeps moving on to different things in life, and there are the ones that stay still on one spot doing the same thing for life. From a very ordinary person's point of view, perhaps the one that keeps travelling around doing different things might have a wider perspective and insights in life. Yes, that may be very true.
But what if that person just travels or move around from place to place just because they are following the crowd and they think that's a norm? They just want to do what everyone does, see everyone sees. They don't see anything through their own eyes, but through other's mind.
You can do as many things as you like, but what's important is that you truly like them and not just doing things because the majority of the population does it. It's fine if you want to copy someone else's way of living. But do you really love that way of living? Is that really you?
Back to what I was saying, you can improve yourself in many ways. Perhaps one day you'll get to somewhere you really want to.
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I do blame the world sometimes. Why am I doing this? I don't even like it. Why do I have to face all those people when I don't even like them? Why the fuck do I have to deal with shit that ain't even worth my time? But at the end of the day, I still endure, I still persevere. Perhaps because I have this silly belief that enduring will bring me to somewhere better in the far future.
Perhaps that place is still in construction, and if it takes it's time to built, it will be of better quality than for me to rush its building.
I'm still young, so let me just give excuses to myself that it's fine to make mistakes, and I'll learn through my mistakes. It's just like how I love writing but I may not write very well because I was lazy as a kid. I can blame the world but at the end of the day, I can only blame myself. It's okay to blame yourself, but what's important is to continue improving.
Not being able to do well in one thing doesn't mean you have to give it all up.
To conclude, I just think that restrictions allows you to grow the fuck up. Just like how growing up through discipline makes you a better person than someone that lived their whole life without any discipline. If there's no restriction, perhaps there won't be the birth of big ideas?
It's like how if you are desperate to win that special person over, you'll do everything you can do get that someone. It doesn't matter if you manage to win that person over at the end of the day, but you do know that at the end of the day, you tried your best, and you learn how to let go, you learn that you cannot have it all. But if you always get the people you want easily, without trying. One day, when you cannot get that someone, it will hit you harder than the one who once went through shit.
Just like how this world had nothing in the first place, and through so much struggles, people come up with things that improve life in itself in order to survive. But what if God gave us everything, and just wait for us to use it, we will never appreciate the existence of those things.
I just want to say that I have learnt that limitations, restrictions isn't the end. It's what makes us all grow up into the person we are right now.
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